


The Goodbye

by allfandomnolife



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 1940s!Bucky, 40s!Bucky, Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 10:06:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7043818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allfandomnolife/pseuds/allfandomnolife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky is off to war and you have a bad feeling</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Goodbye

“Bucky, don’t go. Stay here with me.” You tugged at his sleeve and pleaded. You had a bad feeling about him going away and you were not afraid to tell him. “It doesn’t feel right, please don’t leave me.”

Bucky held his palm to your cheek and looked down at you. A certain sadness twisted in your gut. His beautiful blue eyes met with yours and you remembered the time you first looked into them. They were right, the more you look into a person’s eyes, the more you fell in love. “Doll. Y/N. Baby. Look at me. Y/N. I promise I’ll come home.” He kissed you tenderly on the forehead and you breathed in his scent. “When I come home the war will be over we ’ll start a family, renew our vows and grow old together. I promise, doll.”

You kissed his lips and the pair of you were lulled into a comfortable yet sombre silence. You felt is heart beat erratically. His breathing was ragged and you knew it was difficult for him. He was so proud to be a sergeant, and you felt guilty for trying to make him stay. “I love you, you know that?” Bucky smiled and looked at you, another soft kiss was pressed against your lips. 

“Then you know that I love you more, Mrs Barnes.” He sat down and pulled you with him so that you straddled his lap. “You’ve changed everything for me. I was wild before, I know that but then I saw you across the room. You were hiding in the shadows, content with being there and I had to talk to you. I almost didn’t because you were too good for me. You still are, but I’m glad I took the chance.” His voice got closer and closer to a whisper by the end and you couldn’t say anything at all. It was far more beautiful than your vows and it felt that much more intimate as it was only the pair of you. But it felt like a goodbye.

“Then, if you love me so much, you better come home alive and uninjured.” You let out a defeated sigh and you tried to get even closer to him. It was virtually impossible but you wanted to get so lost in him that you didn’t know where you ended and he started. “I know how proud you are to be a sergeant, Buck, it’s just that something inside of me is screaming to not let you go. It’s screaming that something bad will happen. Please understand that.”

Bucky kissed you again and you wrapped your arms around his neck. “It’s fear, doll. It will always try to eat you alive but I will be back and annoying you before you know it.”

“You better be. You can’t die on me, you’re not allowed to.” You rested your head aginst his chest and the silence washed over you, only, this time, there was the dull hum of fear gnawing away at the back of your mind. “I just have a really bad feeling about this. I’m petrified that someone will knock on the door and tell me that you died out there.” 

He stroked your hair and carried you to your bedroom. He took off his uniform and you picked up one of his shirts. They smelt strongly of him and you knew that they were what was going to keep you sane for the next few months. “I promise to write to you every day, I will always come back to you. I promise.”

You latched yourself to him again and when you looked up at him, his eyes showed fear. He rarely let his masculine side down but he was vulnerable and you kissed him tenderly. You wanted to show him just how much you cared about him. “I know you will, but I’m also terrified that if Steve doesn’t come back, you’ll just blame yourself. It would kill you.”

You ran your fingers through his slicked back hair and just looked at him. You tried to memorise every feature about him, you wanted to ensure that everything about him was engrained in your memory because there was a chance that he would not come back and there was nothing in the world that scared you more.

Eventually, you fell asleep in his arms, but staying asleep was the problem. You rolled around in bed but in the end, you simply just watched Bucky sleep. He was peaceful and unafraid. You stroked his cheek and remembered that he would be torn from you in a matter of hours. His right arm was slung around your midriff and you knew that you would miss having him next to you. The thought of waking up in a cold, empty bed was less than appealing but the thought of not seeing your husband was a thousand times more revolting and haunting than anything you could ever think of. 

***

Bucky woke up to you curled up against his chest. You woke up at the intensity of his look and a pained smile graced your face. “Doll, you don’t need to wake up yet. Go back to sleep, baby.”

You pulled yourself up to face him and kissed him lightly on the lips. His hand gripped the back of your neck. You broke apart and he gave you the boyish smile you fell in love with. You sat on his torso and pulled him up so you faced him directly. You kissed him again and pulled him to the shower. “You know I leave soon..”

You couldn’t face Bucky directly. It hurt you too much but you loved him and so you wanted to give him a proper send-off. “I know. Take a shower, I’ll make you breakfast.” Your voice was soft and quiet, you tried to not let him hear your voice break.

Bucky looked resigned as he got into the shower and you walked out to the kitchen. You made his favourite and a pair of broad hands held your hips. You slid the pancakes onto a plate and placed them on the table. “I know you’re upset, doll, but thank you.”

There was a knock at the door and you knew it was Steve. You opened it and let the man in and got a plate for him. “Hi, Steve. Bucky is in the kitchen, come and eat.”

Bucky gave his best friend a hug and they both ate heartily. You watched the pair of them talk and laugh. “Steve, promise me you’ll look after him.” He gave you a small smile and a nod. Bucky gave you a small smile and your heart broke. It shattered inside of you and the air started to suffocate you. 

“I promise, Y/N, he’s my best friend. He’s all I actually have.” Bucky walked over to you and gave your hand a tight squeeze. He tried to comfort you but it was difficult for him to see you so wrecked. 

After you had all ate, Bucky changed into his uniform and called for a taxi. The three of you got in and approached the army base. You left the car first and took a good look at the training center. Bucky held you close and guided you to where you were supposed to say goodbye.

“Doll, I love you. I promise that I will be home soon, alright. I know that it’ll be tough for you without me here but the war will be over soon and then we will live happily. We will have loads of children running around and then lots of grandchildren. When we want some time alone, we’d just ask Steve to look after them.” Bucky turned to Steve and laughed. “Aren’t I right, punk? Or should we adopt you?” Steve lightly punched his best friend and you let out a laugh.

“Promise me that you will be back home safely and I promise that we will have as many children as you want.” You saw that the other men were going in and knew that Bucky would have to go too. You kissed him tenderly, all of the unsaid words and promises were there.

“I love you, Y/N Barnes, you are the most beautiful woman in the world and I wake up every morning unsure as to how you even agreed to give a jerk like me a chance.” He kissed you again and you felt the air leave your lungs. He parted from you a little and he rested his forehead against yours.

“I love you, James Buchanan Barnes.” He walked away from you reluctantly and you hugged Steve. Bucky pulled you back against him and then departed properly. Little did you know that those were the last words he’d say to you, the last words you would say to him and it would be the last ever time that his lips were on yours.


End file.
